Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You?? - Pt.2

[SueS]

Well, I thought I'd update my thread now, as it will be a busy day at work today. It will be more of my journaling.

Journaling......
Decent day at work yesterday. Busy and that's good. Picked D3 up from school and got big, big hugs. Had dinner and just did a few things around the house. Had D3 call H last night about 8:35 pm to say good-night. H's voicemail at work said he was already gone for the night. He's scheduled until 9:00 pm. Called his cell & he was acting a bit strange. Was okay with us, just strange. He told D3 he'd see her in the morning, which meant that he was going out. I woke up at 1:00, 2:00 and 3:00 am. H was not home. I finally called at 3:00 am. No answer. I heard H come in the house at 3:30 am. WTF??? I'm so angry. This isn't just about him. He's not a 21-year old, single man. He's a 40-year old, married man with a child. I also found a phone number by his clothes this morning. Must have dropped out of his pocket. I have been wondering ever since the concert that H and I went to (flirting with & asking another woman for her number), if H is not only playing me, but playing OW (his soul mate!) too. Just seems as if H has spiraled out of control the past week. He had come closer and had been much friendlier the two weeks that D3 was gone, but he's completely backed off now.

I'm trying hard not to make my thoughts and journaling all about H. I'm just angry. More angry because I feel like he's letting his daughter down with all his antics. Again today, other than the anger, I don't feel anything. I'm not sad. I'm angry about finances too. Obviously it costs money to go out and do the things that H does, but yet we had to send D3 to my parents for 2 weeks because H couldn't afford daycare & I had to pay for groceries because H could afford them.

I took my ring off for the first time today. I'm still not sure if that's what I want, but I'm angry today. Angry that H has started to pull this crap again. He obviously has no committment to me and I feel that my ring was a sign of that.

Time to get working.

SueS