I know this may sound a bit stupid, but maybe part of your H's problem is that he wasn'true to himself when he got with you. He then tried to change you into what he wanted and stopped seeing you for who you actually are.
To be honest, your descriptions of you both don't sound a great fit to me, and if he is making you not parent how you want to I would question whether or not you really want to be with your H or you are just missing having a significant other to share your life with. I know that for me, being there for my kids would be a deal breaker if I had to find a new partner.
Have you got the opportunity at all to go and talk all this through with some sort of C - get a professional perspective on it all?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
