How do they look themselves in the mirror 4?

[tpaschal]

Why, hello to you too tpaschal;

My H, same thing...he wasn't unhappy until she entered the picture..she is a friend of ours from 20 years ago who has kept in contact with him..it went from one meeting to another and you know where it went from there...

Well, at least your H's OW is age appropriate! LOL! (I know, it's kinda crazy that I even think of that as something to be grateful for, and I don't REALLY mean it in that way.) It's just that my H is involved with a manipulative 22 yr. old ho. He's old enough to be her father (a teenage father,sure, but seriously, he and I have been together since we were 18), and she's more a contemporary of our teenage daughter than of H! It's really gross.

I told H that she is probably lying to him also...of course he's "in love" right now so whatever I say is crap...OW got divorced in December so I'm sure she is filling his head with all the stuff they want to hear and how bad of a person I am and how unhappy he is...yep, I've gone from 10, 7, to 5, and back to 23 years of unhappiness....even his mom who doesn't know about OW says this is crap...that it just has to be something in the past year and a half...yep, she's right the OW....

Yep, I've done all the DB no no's of putting down the OW, telling H some of the things she's said and done, but H wants to hear none of it. Calls me a liar. He's so in luuuuv. I don't know what it takes for them to wake up and see the truth, I guess it's different in every situation, but I'm afraid my H never will. He's so proud and arrogant and has such a hard time admitting mistakes that I think even if he ever did come to his senses he might not ever be able to admit it.

I don't even ask for hugs now, sometimes though I think maybe he would like to give me one but doesn't know how to go about it or he thinks that I will think that there's a chance between us if he does..he used to say if he smiled at me that I think we are okay...I so didn't think that...he's in another world all together, a changed man, and she is controlling his life...his children have even taked a back burner..how sad is that..

My H is doing/saying these EXACT same things.

He was my best friend, I told him everything, now he is gone.........

Do you have children? How long has your H been gone?

I'm hoping he sees all this,and I have changed, learned, I am a new person, really....and I like it...

Only time and God will know what is going to happen...but I do hope he comes home..He is the love of my life, I hope he finds his way out...

Treese

I know exactly how you feel. Yes, 3 kids. He's been gone 1 year and 1 week as of today. <sigh>

I don't know that I am a new person yet. Still trying. I'm at the point where I KNOW I need to take the focus off of him, off of what he's done, off of his perfect fantasy life with OW, and put my focus on ME. Practice makes perfect......and all that, right? I've been praying so much for him, now I need to focus on the changes God is making in ME.

TPaschal