BABBLING AND SAD AND UPSET AND CONFUSED.... he says I will never understand him,,,, I am so upset.
my H called me last nite all lovey ~dovey and he just got off the phone with me and made me cry/sob and drudged up old stuff and reminded me how HE gave ME another chance and hes been thru so much and THAT ~I am selfish and only think of me.
It all started when I complimented him how he is changing so much and he is like when I first met him and it turns me on. After I said that HE BLEW like a VOLCANO....
Started with "oh are you insinuating I needed to change for you to feel sexual you should always feel sexual.."
Any of you who know my sitch know that I have held back in the past and I am working on that and he seems to think I am supposed to have SEX on the brain 24/7. I try to be more sensual and erotic and it seems he always finds a way to make me feel like an idiot and all my hard work is actually nothing and he doesnt feel like I care.
I wonder do a lot of Women go to the airport in a sexy dress and jacket and no panties just to impress and titalate their man?
I dunno and I really dont care at this point I am so angry and hurt , he even said why did I send tghat ketter if I am going to act like this,,,,, I told him this is wny I am afraid to be me most of the time cause evrything I do is wrong in your eyes and you hurt my feelings and thenI just shut down........ See DR jeckyl MR hyde........
I can deal with his outburts I can deal with it really but he makes me feek dumb for loving him still and also he said in response to me saying he doesnt open hbis eyes or his heart to the love I feel for him cause he chooses not to... he said when I open it you hurt me....
Last nite when he called he sang a song to me and he told me he loved me and he said he missed me soooooooooooooooo much. He called around 12:45 am I was sleeping of course....WTF?????????
I dunno you all just wanted to be real and he makes me feel like I have to be an actress and never say anything............ that is not in his script..........
I am sooooooooooooooo sad right now and I need to stop this he does not control my emotions , I dont own him he doesnt own me , we share our lives . So why does this hurt so much and feel so devastating????????? I feel like I have no energy left..... he talked to me for over 40 minutes then the call somehow stopped and I assumed he hung up on me and he called back and said why did you hang up on me? And I told him I did no such thing..................
I love him but this seems exhausting and I just want more normalcy for him and I .. I love him and he seems to not know. uUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
I feel so frustrated and hurt....... I was supposed to go work out and I wouldnt have been here to answer , but no I wanted to stay home and relax... Sheesh. I did no such thing!!!!!!!
