The threats that h will take them to TN ============ sounds like another tool to scare you into submission
he's had the kids maybe 3 times, and never for longer than 6 hrs. ========================== yup, he's deluded. My H barely has kids and no idea what to do w/them when he does as well. If we D there is no way it can be joined custody.
Yea, I ask myself daily why I still hold on to hope. I'm sure you and I would be 1,000mls from the Hs if we didnt' have kids
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Ladey bug your H and my W could be twins. my W adored me for 7 years till I screwed up a year ago ( check my posts for the story) Unlike your H i am going to counseling and talking to a preist and doing everything I can to make myself better. the problem is once my wife droped the D word she desided everything was my fault and while she says she wants to work on the marerage, she had done nothing besided pull further and further away. she has just a couple days ago turned into the "Mean" stage were when I call her she is very shorty and basicly cuts me off after 15 seconds. I soemtrimes if my wife is seeing soemone else becaus e she seekes to spend every wakingh moment with her new friends and as far from me, and working on the marrage as possible.
Cat just so you know I am a cop and not all cops are mean to there wifes. I was neglectfull to my wife and i admit that, but now that I am making a honest try, she desided she just dosent know how to get better with me. My wife had went from 7 years of the best friens and partner I know to soemone who now seems to get off on being mean to me. a classic example is now when I want to talk to her on the few times she comes home to pick uop clothes she says " cant we walk and talk i have to hurry my riends whant to meet soon so we can go out." that is not the word of s person who wants to work on a marrage.
the people in the know here all seem to agree that you have to take you S words and let them run off your back, but when you are being treated mean it is very hard. LDY BUG I salute yoi for you work on this.
Well, last weekend I had the opportunity to go to a live Love & Respect conference with Emmerson Eggerichs. It was great! I went alone and really think my husband would have benefitted from going. While I was there, I was really convicted that I am to act in obedience to God in respecting my husband. It doesn't matter that my husband doesn't deserve my respect. It doesn't matter that my husband isn't interested in "earning" my respect. It doesn't even matter that my husband in hateful toward me. In obedience to God, I am to respect him, and not expect anything in return.
Do I think my husband deserves my respect? No. But, that my friends, is irrelevant. Now, to just be able to do this when he sees he's done no wrong, and thinks I am the mental case...
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
hey Marcum, I didn't mean to come out cop-bashing, I meant that because of the high levels of stress *some* officers bring work home, and i understand that that is a fine line to walk, I know that the mental problems my H has are personal and he had them before he was a cop.
SOunds like it was a grea conference Mbug, I yet have to read the book, hope you and the kids are doing fine
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
conference sounds like it gave you some more gas for the tank. I read these boards and i whish I had all of your strengh but i feel mine slipping away. I want nothing more then to be able to call my W and tell her about my day but i cant. I made the misstake of cleaning up some files on our computer and found one with a bunch of pictures of us. this set me back realy hard. I see the woman who i i helped to feel neglected and it kills me to know that when i finaly recived her message she wont let me in.
I hear you. Believe me, I'm not always strong at all. Somedays I breakdown, I have to. But, then I get back up, dust myself off, and face the day. I think I'm mostly strong for my kids. I can't imagine at 4yr old how my daughter comprehends this whole mess.
Your situation is still new and raw. Give it time...man, don't count the days. It takes time. But, you work on yourself, you get a life, and your wife will like what she sees in you.
I can totally relate about wanting to tell your wife about your day. It hurts that I feel like I have no one to share my life with. Not just the big things in my life, but little things like something quirky at work or a funny commercial. A couple weeks ago I had a crazy cockroach infestation in my office at work. I found it funny once the problem was fixed, and I remember thinking I wanted to call h and tell him about it...and I couldn't. It was like I had no one to see this or share this with. Sounds silly and petty, but it bothered me.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
OK. Now I'm freaking out. Remember the strong me? Well she's taking a break.
I just looked on-line at our bank account. Looks like h bought a gift cert to a massage spa on valentine's day. Guess what I got for valentine's day...nothing. Mind is reeling!!!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I'm so floored right now. I just don't know what to think. I can't think.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
MS LB, I'm sorry for your pain, I know words cant help your broken heart right, but knowing someone is out there and listening always helps me. Please remember that God knows what he is doing and is taking you in the direction that is best for you. Right now if you looked behind you you would only see one set of footprints in the sand.
Me 38 WAW 29 D 4 Married 9 Together 11 Bomb June 07 Separated Jan 08 Reconciled May 08 awesome, happy, and blessed
