UGH, I don't look forward to telling my girls anything.
The therapist I see says that luckily they are younger and with our schedule (they are used to us being alone with them. One works, the other has them), I can do this in phases. They probably won't even notice if H moved out, honestly. He will be around when they are awake for the most part, and he leaves before they wake up in the morning for work, so they are used to that.
It seems you guys can do this sort of phasing too.
But I don't want to look them in the eye and teach them what the word "divorce" means.
My D is used to H being gone but not me. After the weekend she spent away from me, she clung to me for about a week. I LOVED that, of course!!
I also hate that she has to be a product of a broken family. My parents are celebrating 45 years of marriage this month... That's where I come from. This is just wrong to me... But, not up to me at this point.. So, I have to live with it, cope with it, and move on..
I also hate that she has to be a product of a broken family. My parents are celebrating 45 years of marriage this month... That's where I come from. This is just wrong to me... But, not up to me at this point.. So, I have to live with it, cope with it, and move on..
I totally understand. Totally. Its not fair. And its not up to me either. Our kids will have to explain to their friends. My parents were happily married for over 20 years before my father died. I am from a happy family as well. H is from (big surprise) a nasty divorce. His parents lived together for 10 years AFTER their divorce to raise the 7 kids. And it wasn't a good environment, they just couldn't afford 2 homes. Wow.
One interesting statistic I read awhile back mentioned that men who grow up in divorced families are supposedly less likely to divorce.
Of course, there are always people who do not fit into those statistics....
I understand your feelings about raising a child in a broken home. I felt exactly the same way. In fact, even though my husband and I married young, we waited many years to have kids just to be certain the marriage was a "good one."
Unfortunately, sometimes we don't have control. We just have to do our best with the reality we are living in.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Tell us more about the eye candy you had lunch with? Are you talking about all so yummy like Brad Pit or melt in your mouth Christian Bale or irresistible Johnny Depp? Inquiring minds want to know!
Joie - definately a Christian Bale type... Funny thing is that I put this guy off twice because I thought he sounded weird on the phone... Ummm... not weird in person.... very young, though!
Sooo... now my H doesn't think that I am dealing with the reality of our D. He accused me of covering up my feelings by shopping (I bought 3 sale items), getting a new haircut (I got it trimmed), and acting like I'm "all that" at work (I've earned a lot of people's respect in a short period of time). So, I guess because I want to look pretty and use my brain, I'm not dealing with the reality of our D. WTH is THAT???
Sorry, but LOL. I didn't cover my feelings by shopping, getting a new haircut or doing a great job, but they sure helped me get through the hard times--perhaps he's a little dismayed that you're not a puddle of tears on the sofa now that he's decided to exit stage-left?! What a blow to the ego. Poor STBX Mr. Olive.
If you're going to be accused, you may as well do it big. Head right back to the mall, and this time skip the sale rack! Buy youself something nice. Somebody should be nice to you, even if you have to do it yourself!
