As always, you take on the responsibility of your own situation and your own emotional and mental state. This shows remarkable strength.
I just have one concern here. I know that for myself over these past grueling months, the stress brought on by my situation has taken a real toll on my health and I've become clinically depressed. I went to a shrink last week because the depression and the anxiety have reached debilitating levels. He put me on an anti-depressant, which I have since quit, and have started on SamE instead. (I don’t like harsh pharmaceuticals, I prefer natural remedies. I will let you know if it helps or not.)
I just worry that perhaps you and others here, have also reached maximum overload and are now clinically depressed. This could also be a reason for all the tears and feelings of despair. (Not that you don't have good reason for all that sadness. But maybe there is more to it?)
It's just a thought and a concern for you dear friend.
