I began having awful mood swings, I feel like I'm 14 again.
Yesterday I was sure that I'm doing ok and GAL (sort of) and was content, if not happy. Today in the morning I felt just angry, I could have called H and tell him it's over, I don't want him back . Of course, I knew it will pass, but still the urge was very strong. Now I'm just sad and tired.
I guess I could use some more of your positive vibes, Jen:)
A friend of mine suggested Dong Quay, the "female ginseng".
Did anybody try it?
Does it help?
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
sorry to find you here... Have you read "The secret"? It helped me a lot. I was desperate to find something that would give me some positive thinking and faith and it worked. Mainly because it turned me to myself and my power.
Hi Stella I go through those ups and downs too. I heard Dong Quai was great but if you think you might like to try it make sure you read up on it to make sure you know of any side effects. I heard that St. Johns wart was good for depression.
(((PV))))
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Stella, Believe me, it's normal to have the ups and downs. You will probably be going through a lot of them. I know I do. I'm having one of those days today. It's a good thing you were able to refrain from calling H. It's best not to react when you're angry.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
You mean THE Secret, by Rhonda Byrne? I have been wanting to read it for a long time now. I have read so much ABOUT it, but somehow never got to the book itself. May be I was waiting for the right time, which is now!
Jen, thanks for the vibes:) they work as usual.
I ate up two bottles of St. Johns wart, but didn't notice any improvements...
I think I will give the Dong Quai a try.
These ups and downs make me feel so powerless...
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I'm sorry you're having one of those days too, Addie!
These mood swings cost us dearly, don't they? A whole lot of backslides...
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
H didn't call for 8 days now, it's his record! I know that there are people on the board who haven't heard from their WAS for months, but my H was always a "nice" MLCer and called every day at the beginning, then every 3 days. It's been a year, and it's not getting any better...
I have a feeling that going dark will not work for me, that he gets more and more involved with the OW and their R is only getting stronger with me out of sight. Nor I think he truly misses me.
Not that I could do anything about it now, I feel so helpless...
I didn't call my H, and I will not, doesn't matter how much it hurts, but I have this overwhelming urge TO DO something, to end the uncertainty, even if it will end my M as well.
Yesterday I went for a long walk and had to return because I started to cry and was afraid to run into somebody I know.
And then a friend of mine dropped in for a glass of wine. He is much older, a fatherlike figure for both H and me, and the only person I thought I could trust with my sitch. So, I've decided to spill it out, and then I didn't. Just couldn't bring it up.
After a lousy day there was an equally dreadful night.Couldn't sleep at first and when I finally dozed off I had a dream about H and me on the bus, talking. Then all of a sudden he gets up and leaves without a word, I watch him from the window as he walks away, without so much as a single look back. I manage to get out at the next stop and take subway home but got lost in some sort of a labirinth - a meaningful dream.
Sorry that I'm dripping with misery... feels good to be able to vent.
And yes, I started the Dong Quai yesterday, will report the results (if any):)
Thanks for listening.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Stella, I'm sorry you have been having a hard time. Have you checked out many posts in the MLC forum and the infedility forums?
The dream is interesting. Have you checked it out on one of those websites that do dream analysis? It might be interesting to see what the symbols mean.
Please keep us up to date on everything. I hope the Dong Quai does what it's suppossed to
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
