Quoting Sage on my thread: Let us know how we can help, too.
You already have!!
Sorry I only have enough time to kinda glean thru here and I see that the good times are steadily increasing over the bad. That you are winning the battle against your demons, even if it is still a struggle at time.
I saw my good buddy Tbone had just dropped by jethro's thread with some of his wise words. They are worth repeating here as the can be a tremedous help.
Quoting Tbone:"If you trust too much you may be deceived, but if you trust too little you will be TORMENTED."
Sage, if you could consciously quantify the amount of pain of being decieved vs. by tormenting yourself over a longer period of time, I believe you are being hurt more from the torment. You're putting yourself thru your greatest pain of all. Now that I'm experiencing the deceit again for a second time, I can tell you the pain is not nearly as bad as the first time, nor does it outweigh the torment I put myself thru.
So bottom line is to convince yourself that no matter what happens in the future it will never be as bad as the pain you are putting yourself thru with your fears.
