I think the "pride" factor is what scares alot of folks (esp newcomers). We think that our S's are too "proud" once they leave to come back. I've come to a place where I don't see it as pride so much (at least with my H) as their own fear. Fear of rejection and inadequacy. It's sad that any of those things would bar them from coming back. Mostly b/c I think of the regret and torment they'd live with.
Funny thing, you would think it would be pride that would keep our spouses from leaving in the first place...oh, I forgot, that is the way rational people think.
I have often wondered if one of the reason why my H left was that it would be better for him to reject me then for me to reject him. And I do know my H suffers from feelings of inadequacy on some levels. Will pride or fear keep him from returning?...I don't know...but I think my H also has fear to not return...fear that he will be making a huge mistake if he doesn't.
By our spouses are running away from their fears, it leaves us to confront ours. We become stronger...they stay where they are...hmmm.
