So my plan is to just continue as I have been - keeping myself and kids happy and busy. I dont intend to push W to make up her mind. I want her to figure her self out on her own time.
Hey Kerry,
I think this is exactly what you should do. Your W seems so incredibly confused, I don't think she really knows what she wants. If you push her to choose you'll just push her away. It's good that you're ready for either path, but it sounds like she can earn your love again if that's what she chooses...as they say, patience can be your best friend.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
Not much going on with my situation. W agrees we should cancel the next mediator session so as to not rush the D. She also wants me (and the kids) to go out to dinner on her BD. Baby steps and I am very patient right now.
Not much going on with my situation. W agrees we should cancel the next mediator session so as to not rush the D. She also wants me (and the kids) to go out to dinner on her BD. Baby steps and I am very patient right now.
Cool! Sounds like things are pretty calm - Hopefully she will take some time for reflection.
Sorry if I missed this - Is she seeing a C or a psych? Other than the obvious, is there anything going on with her? Depression, etc?
My W has mentioned recently that she would like to see a psych. The teacher she works for thinks it will do her a lot of good. I sent W a link to the web site for the author that wrote the "Walk out woman" book who practices nearby. My mother has even mentioned that my W should be checked to see if she is bi-polar.
My W has mentioned recently that she would like to see a psych. The teacher she works for thinks it will do her a lot of good. I sent W a link to the web site for the author that wrote the "Walk out woman" book who practices nearby. My mother has even mentioned that my W should be checked to see if she is bi-polar.
Great first step - Make sure she sees both a psych and a C. It may be helpful if you can get the two to share information so they can help her more. I'm sure there is a load of stuff going on behind the scenes that you don't know about and she has no clue how to deal with... Maybe like my W it's really old stuff that just built up over time.
Somehow I injured my knee working out on Sunday. So I stupidly went and worked out yesterday and made it worse. I could hardly sleep last night as the pain was unbearable like a sprain. So I ended up calling W and asked her to come over in the morning to help me get the kids ready for school as I could hardly walk.
I called today and cancelled our next mediator session.
Last night I had a good long talk with W's friend and she said to just give W time. During our talk, W kept trying to call me. When I finally picked up, she asked who I was talking to and I told her it was her friend. I told W that I want to give her all the time she wants in figuring out life. She thanked me and said right now she just wants to concentrate on getting her teeth fixed and then will figure out about seeing a counselor/psych. She also got the bill from her L and it was over 2000 for just some talking and filing out of a parenting plan. She is so discusted with the wasting of our money on this.
Also, last night when I was putting the kids to bed, S7 said he did not think mommy was going to come back to me as she has quite the long kisses with OM. I told him to not worry about that and everything will turn out ok one way or the other.
Sorry to hear you messed up your knee. Those things are made of glass or something.
It is crazy how your positions have almost reversed now that she's slowly becoming the LBS. I've read about it here b4 but it seems preposterous to me right now as I see my wife being so cold and distant and me wanting her back so much.
You've made amazing progress.
Did you get a lot out of reading that "Walk out woman" book? It certainly sounds like the right subject matter and it has great reviews on amazon.
Amazingly, the knee is back to normal now. I must be eating something right or the heating pad was the trick.
I am not going to be the WAH as I value marriage and my family too much. I also am trying hard to continue to love my W unconditionally. My attitude now is that even though she is no upholding her vows in our M, that does not mean that I should discard those vows myself.
Right now, it feels like we have a good chance to bust this D. We hugged tightly at the door this morning, but I know she has a long way to go. First thing she will need to do is move out from the OM place.
I did not really get that much out of the Walk out woman book as it did not give me, the LBH any solutions - just understanding of what she is going through. I did give it to my WAW a few months back as it is really something that the WAW would get more benefit from. Of course, the WAW is not in a state of mind to read such a thing. Maybe I will try to give it to her again to see if she might read it as her attitude is different now.
