You are so right. Taking the focus off him and putting it on me and the kids is really helping. I am not saying that I don’t think of H, but through a program (healthy eating and active living) at work I am starting to focus on my needs.
H was by on Monday. We were all off from work/school. He came, made dinner (homemade pasta and sauce…the kids’ favorite) and just hung out with us all day into the night. When he left I just shook my head and I think something finally snapped. I got so frustrated….because he shouldn’t be leaving. I just closed my eyes and asked God to wrap his arms around H and guide him home. That is all I can do right now.
I am looking at a man who doesn’t know what he wants or how to get it. If he did he would be home. I can’t fix him. Only God can and I don’t know if or when that will happen. I just know that nothing I say or do will make it happen faster.
I have really made a conscious effort to start to eat healthy and put the time into reading about healthy lifestyles. I am taking a class at work that focuses on this. I am so trying to take the focus off my H. I pray that once I do, things will be different.
Hope all is well with everyone. Snodderly, hope you and your family are doing well.
