1. h and I went to a new place for drinks and dinner. Was ok -- probably not worth the $ -- but it was fun to get out, awesome to go on a date and h was enthusiastic about trying something new (as was I!)
2. I'm just gonna cut and paste this from now on h continues his home depot-esque progress thru the house...painting, cleaning, etc. something new every day!
3. I brought up the disagreement that we had had the night before and we had a really good, calm, discussion where we each explained a bit more about what we were trying to articulate. This is GOOD stuff for a few reasons....I brought it up because it was important to me, we were both calm and responsive, etc. This is an important step I think.
I told h. that the thing that bugged me about the argument was how he had put the onus on ME to solve the problem....he told me that that was a conscious decision -- that in his mind, I cared LESS about solving the problem and that therefore it made SENSE to him that the person who cared less, if made responsible, would HAVE to care and participate in the solution...what an interesting window into h's thought process!
I asked him what if I wasn't "good" at solving the particular problem -- didn't it make sense to give the burden to the person who was BETTER at it? He said that people tend to focus on their strengths and shy away from improving their weaknesses.
he also said (earlier in the conversation) that sometimes the thing to do to solve a problem is the EXACT opposite of what you think you SHOULD do -- a 180!!!
So...it was a very interesting conversation ... I wonder what h would recommend that I do to get what I want...
A loving, committed, faithful, happy m. for both of us.
What would he say my 180 should be? what would he advise ME????
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
