OMG, she has nothing compared to you.... you have the kids, the family, the memories and a long and comfortable mature love...

Do you think if something happened to your H tomorrow and he was in a car accident and couldn't play music she'd still be there for him? I doubt it. More than likely the relationship is very shallow. Yes, the money and fame are there and that's a huge draw. It's his dream. I doubt "she's" the threat... it's probably the dream propelling him.

Definitely read, reread and commit to memory everything in DR and DB. Focus on your kids and just being friends with your husband. Let him have a his space and you work on yourself. I know this is easier said than done, but don't take her or the situation personally. Don't let it affect your self-esteem. I've been around many musicians and unfortunately this is not an uncommon.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.