H continues to be incredibly supportive and loving. He called me a few times during the day. He suggested that we go to the gym after work and then out for drinks. Said lots of loving things and was very affectionate. Listened earnestly about my desire for a new (specific) job and was supportive of my applying even though it's a long shot. Talked a bit about law school and expressed some nervousness. Was enthusiastic about being with me.
What didn't go well (but turned out ok, I think): I haven't been feeling well for a few days (cold or allergies) and yesterday was no exception. I'm just feeling really out of sorts physically (which has been made worse by not exercising much...but I feel too sick and tired to do it). After we went out, h. was giving me a hug from behind and he bit my ear. It hurt. I know he was just kidding around but it made me very angry -- in a way that I haven't felt in a while.
It obviously wasn't just about being bitten....the thought the flashed into my head was "how could you hurt me? how could you not take ME into account? how could you not know that that was going to hurt me?" yah. ok. you can see where this is going...
Anyway, h. apologized when I yelped and then later on apologized very sincerely saying "sometimes I forget how delicate you are". Very much appreciated. By then, though, I was pretty mad at myself for how ANGRY I had been at him....(it reminded me of what I think was a real contributor to our m. falling apart...my anger at him for perceived ills!). Trying to forgive myself for that. I don't WANT him to feel my wrath OTOH, I DO want him to consider my "feelings"! I don't want him to stop "playing around" with me -- I need to come up with a better way (that doesn't involve anger and blame) to let him know when it's too much.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
and then later on apologized very sincerely saying "sometimes I forget how delicate you are". Very much appreciated. By then, though, I was pretty mad at myself for how ANGRY I had been at him....(it reminded me of what I think was a real contributor to our m. falling apart...my anger at him for perceived ills!). Trying to forgive myself for that. I don't WANT him to feel my wrath 
OTOH, I DO want him to consider my "feelings"! I don't want him to stop "playing around" with me -- I need to come up with a better way (that doesn't involve anger and blame) to let him know when it's too much.
