Funny enough I've been looking back to see if I can figure out what ended up working the best. I can't put my finger on anything specific yet (although I definitely post what I come up with). In the end I like to think that a lot of what has turned things around is my basing my actions (DB'ing and all) on the fact that I truly know who my wife is at her core - regardless of her alien/foggy state.
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Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07