I use to always think it was pride but you are right. How can you help them see that if they are not willing to speak ..well, I guess by sincere actions on the LBS part.
It's sad that we can't help them see anything.
One of the things I do though is with our D's. They are at an age where movies and books make for a great ice-breaker into convos about tough topics. This one has actually come up and I've heard them talking with H regarding some of it. I don't do it as a manipulation or a game that they'll take what I say back to him. They are just getting feedback from him about topics they find important (including sex, drug use, suicide etc). I continue to encourage them and H to talk b/c D's are teenagers and need to know how to deal with alot of different emotional situations.
I've got so say it doesn't feel like I'm holding onto anything here. Like all of us here, just doing the best I know how.
