MLC came to my house...

[tpaschal]

Hey guys..thanks for the welcome!

I did kinda come out swinging didnt I???
LOL

Sure in the beginnng I wasnt quite as "strong" per say and I DO have my moments of bursting into tears, But I guess I just give it to myself as havng a bad day or moment, or whatever. For the most part I just kinda plug along taking one day at a time.

Sandy,

So sorry that you have cause to join us here, but you sound like such a positive woman of God that I am glad to get the chance to know you, even if just through the computer!

Your story sounds similar to mine in many ways, though my bomb came in Dec. 06 and my kids are younger. We were also one of the families that people admired and thought had it all. I thought we did, too! My H was the great dad who coached his kids' YMCA soccer and t-ball teams. We didn't travel a lot anymore after our 3rd child was born, but we always did projects around the house together, did things together as a couple and as a whole family, etc., etc. We had fallen away from going to church as often once the kids got a little older and were involved in sports activities on the weekends, which I really regret. (The kids and I are getting involved again and going regularly, though my H is like yours and won't darken the door of a church.)

You sound as though you are handling everything really, really well and being so strong for your daughters.

The tears are so normal! I like how you are handling the depression. I've been trying to take it one day at a time, too, but maybe saying it out loud to myself will help.

Last week I was running my daughter to a friends house and had crocs on in my snowy driveway and slipped and twisted and slammed my leg into car..it hurt a lot and I thought for a second I broke my leg. And in that second of wondering if I broke my leg it hit me...." I was alone" My H would not be around to take me to emergency room. My H wouldnt even care. My H wouldnt be the one to talk to Drs. MY H wouldnt be the one to prop my leg up on pillows and bring me motrin. I couldnt stop crying over this thought process. It just shook me to my core. I cried for hours alone in my room over this scary thought. Yes I have family and friends but it was SUPPOSSED to be my H who did all this. It was horrible. I called my sis and cried and she asked what I needed..I told her "chicken wing pizza"! So she brought me a chicken wing pizza and made me laugh. My leg was fine..bruised a bit but my heart was broken. But I know it wont always be this way..and this too shall pass...

I'm so sorry to hear that you were hurt. I hope your leg is okay. I haven't been ill (other than a slight cold or an occasional migraine) in the year since H left, but I did have an abnormal mammogram which required a biopsy in late spring. I remember the terror of wondering who would take care of my babies if the worst were to happen, since H so obviously didn't want them anymore. It is scary.

Nature!!!
Good question...LOL..no it wasnt that boss who gave him the "good" review ..it was another one ( a male) but I do know this woman did tell him he was sooo deserving of an excellent review and how dare the other guy only give him a "good" review...ohh boyy..enter a guy in MLC and an ego stroker...can you say deadly???

Oh, yeah. My H's OW is a 21 year old who strokes his ego AND makes him feel like the stud for being able to get with a hot young thing! Actually, I think he wants to be 21 again and have a do-over. Problem is, he's NOT 21 and he's got the wife, 3 kids, job and financial responsibilties that go along with being 40! But he's running away from it all and acting with the emotional maturity of a selfish, greedy, hormonal 12 year old child.

Oh and I do have a question.....

Since this has all started..when I drive I find my self always soo deep in thought..I hardly ever listen to the radio as Im so lost in my thoughts constantly! I get to my destination and think " how the heck did I get here?" scary. Anyone else do this?

Oh, my gosh, yes! Constantly! I love music and singing so much, but now I can hardly stand to listen to the radio. For a long time every song I heard, no matter what I was listening to---Christian, Pop-top 40, oldies---made me burst into tears, so I just had to stop.

But I'm in the car so much playing chauffeur for my kids that I do use that time as my thinking time. Actually, I do a lot of talking out loud in my car, too. (When the kids aren't there, though people in cars next to me may think I'm crazy.) All those things I want to say to my H? I say them to the steering wheel. It sure helps keep me from saying them to H, or at least not as often. We've had some very interesting conversations, the steering while and I! LOL!!