Make things better by looking ahead....

[sage]

Just some quick journalling re. an awesome night with h.

I worked a bit later than I expected. It was still damp here so I figured the walk was off....called h from work and asked if he wanted me to get something for dinner. He ordered thai food and I picked it up.

We ate and then h asked if I wanted to take a walk. I was surprised -- it was wet AND the sox game was about to start. I agreed, though, and off we went.

Walked around the lake. Just ambled along for a while. H had brought his walkman so when the game started he listened with one ear and gave me a commentary. He grabbed my hand and we walked on...him doing impressions of Joe and Jerry (baseball announcers) and me laughing my head off.

went back home, watched the rest of the game and played with the kittens.

What was different about last night? Why did it feel so good? I had been busy at work -- didn't spend the afternoon dwelling on myself. H was enthusiastic when I called -- was quick to offer a plan. H was enthusiastic about being with me (walking) and was emotionally and physically affectionate. I just felt comfortable in my own skin -- felt confident from work, felt good about exercising, etc. I think it was also nice that h put being with me above watching the game -- he doesn't always need to do that but this time it felt good.

h had done even more house cleaning -- had picked up some stuff for me (unrequested) at the drugstore, etc.

Remind me of this good, simple, lovely time next time I'm freaking out....

Sage