The mistress has more than I can offer

[Dayana]

It's such a relief to have you all out there. I feel like I am going crazy. My sister loaned me Divorce Remedy recently. I have only read it once, so not fully familiar with techniques. I mentioned it to H and he said he wanted to read it. Took it away - keeps telling me he will be reading it soon, but so far he has not other than the introduction. Clearly it is not a priority for him so far - but in reality I think he doesn't want advice on saving his marriage, he just wants to maintain the status quo - walk in and out from us, stay with OW who feeds his ego and dream.
I know I need to focus on me and kids but I am so depressed ,can't seem to maintain any momentum. I make plans and then cancel them at the last minute because I feel so low. I find it really hard to talk to anyone and feel totally socially inept because the only thing on my mind is H - I feel like I have nothing else to talk about, but everyone I know is sick of my whole 'saga' and telling me to get over it. But the pain just won't go away and I don;t know how to move on.
To make it worse, OW is my sister's husband's ex-wife and OW's kids are my sister's stepkids so it is all in the family which just keeps the pain alive.
I desperately need help to establish boundaries with H re his access to me, but I dont know how to do that while he visits the kids so often.
Any advice on any of this would be appreciated.