W just came home a little while ago. She came into my office to talk to me and told me she was angry that I was 'checking up on her' all the time and it made her feel uncomfortable. I told her that while I had looked at her cell phone logs because I wanted to know what was going on with her 'friend' because he was a married man and it was WRONG, I had stopped at least a week or two ago because it was hurting me and I decided it wasn't a good thing for me. I told her I don't see a need to 'check up' on her any more because I don't care.
I asked her why she decided to bring this up today and she said it had been bothering her for a while and she decided to talk about it now. She said she felt like she was being watched. She asked me if I had a GPS tracking device on her or a microphone hidden somewhere. I told her that was silly.
I said that I only cared because she was carrying on 'something' with a married guy and she said 'yes that was a big mistake and I stopped it.' She said 'I understand your boundaries and I'll respect them while I'm living in this house.' (no dating, affairs, etc...) She said 'I just want us to get along while we're living together and while we work on getting our stuff together (I guess she means our financials).
She said she was worried that 'my husband will turn into a psycho and kill me in my sleep some night'.
I asked her why she would think I would ever do that and she said she was "upset because of the other night with D17, and how I was 'almost' out of control".
I told her that I wasn't calm, but I wasn't out of control. She then said "Well you grabbed D17's arm and were 'pulling her around'" ????? She is crazy, I 'firmly' grabbed her arm but not hard, and told her to sit down but I did not 'pull her' or shove her or anything. She always exaggerates things like this as if I'm one step from going ballistic. She said "You see this stuff on the news all the time, the husband snaps and kills the whole family."
What?????
So, I stood up and I looked her in the eye and I calmly said "W, I could never, ever harm you physically, nor could I harm my daughters. I could harm someone ELSE who needed it but never, ever, could I harm you. It's not possible. I never HAVE hit, punched, shoved or otherwise done anything physical to you and I never WILL. That simply is not in me." I said "Even if I was drinking I couldn't do it, and you've seen me angry in that state."
She said that she would have to make sure she is careful the next time she is around me and I'm 'liquored up'. I looked at her and calmly said "Well I wouldn't worry about that because you'll never see me in that state again".
I looked right into her eyes when I said all these things. I was calm and she could see it in me. I didn't yell.
D17 walked into the room so the conversation was over. W seemed happier and said bye and left the room.
This came out of left field. After last nights positive interaction she comes at me with this?
Oh, W also told me she wanted to talk to D12 on Saturday morning and "let's be sure we don't mess it up like we did with D17 and lose our cool". Ah yes, a reminder that we're getting divorced. Keep the train moving forward...
Surprisingly I'm not that upset. A little but not devastated. For some bizarre reason I think this was a test to see if I'd lose my cool. Well, I didn't.
