Make things better by looking ahead....

[sage]

Had an uneventful night Went to C (myself) -- talk a bit about the abandonment/choice thing of last week. Also talked about how I still don't really feel "safe" despite all the good stuff that's going on. Safe that a is over, safe that it won't happen again (same or different op). Talked also about how I feel so "bad" at being a w. and my (unrealistic) frustration about that.

Re-realized (this happens over and over and over again) on the way home how much good stuff IS going on.

Watched tv, played with the kittens. Didn't get too hung up on "how" h was being -- distant, affectionate, present, whatever. I don't think it helps either of us for me to be ever-watchful so I'm giving myself a rest.

Noticed (and again this morning) that h had been a cleaning DEMON yesterday. Cleaned out the closets in our spare room, kitchen overhaul, laundry, even the litter box! (That's a biggie). I would swear that he spent the whole day cleaning. Thanked him a few times 'cause he deserves it!

Taking him out on a surprise date tonight -- nothing too elaborate but I hope it'll be fun.

Sage