Finding my way out of the dark

[mishka422]

H came to pick up S13 for karate tonight. He sent our son back into the house with a speaker system for my ipod. He hasn't bought me a gift in a long time unless it was an occasion. I sent him a quick text telling him thank you and it was really sweet of him to pick that up for me. I asked him where he had found it because I had never seen one like it. He told me he saw it at Penny's and knew I had a shuffle and thought I would like it. I told him thank you again and asked how his day was. He said it was good, court in the morning and a city awards ceremony breakfast afterward where he got two community service awards. I told him congratulations and how much I would have like to have seen that. I told him I was proud of his accomplishments. He also told me he got new glasses today and I told him I'd like to see them. He said I could come out when he brough our son home and see them. I told him I'm still sick so not dressed well enough but he could come into the house. I didn't know if he would since he hadn't been through the door for over a month. He came inside and was petting the dog and showing me his glasses. We talked about general stuff for a few minutes like nothing was wrong. He had to go so I walked out with him into the driveway. There was a full lunar eclipse here tonight so we were looking at it and talking about how I would bring our son out at about 10pm to see the peak. My H told me again that if I needed any help with my mom or for me to please call him unless my mom hates him. I told him that she doesn't hate him any more than I do. He said, "Oh, so she really does hate me." I just shook my head at him. Then is when everything went into slow motion.....

He asked me if he could hug me. I leaned into him and he grabbed me and hugged so tight. I thought he might not ever let go and I didn't want him to! I did finally break contact. He then reached down and held my hand for a few minutes and reluctantly let go. We said goodbye and that was it.

I'm not reading anything at all into that exchange other than it is the sign that I have been praying for. I have been praying for a sign from God that he would use some communication from my husband to me that would include physical contact and warmth in our exchange. My husband had tears in his eyes when he left. That spoke volumes to me. He is regretting what he has done. It's a start at least.