Soem people have been successful with the agreement to go to Retrouvaille in exchange for an easy divorce if it doesn't change the WAS's mind. And there can be a lot of benefit to going to Retrouvaille even before a divorce. Really, I can't imagine a bad outcome to attending Retrouvaille even if the couple decides to split. But I think you have to accept that you might be called upon to fulfill your end of the bargain afterwards.
Don't worry about not being able to bring up the past. There is a time for that. There just isn't unlimited time for it. The past is brought up, it is discussed, it is aplogized for, and it is put to bed. From that point on, bringing up the past is considered picking a fight. And you are encouraged not to pick fights with your writing, just to express your feelings.
They give you rules to write by, and if you both follow them they really work.
