I just want to make it better. . .

[seekpeaceofmind]

Back from vacation - home to a cold, empty house. I can't imagine how this would be if I didn't have pets - my dogs and cat are glad to see me and I can at least feel that I am important to them. H had dogs at his apt the past 10 days while I was gone. The schedule was for him to bring them back this evening so that they would be here by the time I got home and that's what he did. I couldn't help but notice and feel hurt that there was no note, no phone message, no acknowledgement of any kind from him. Would it really take too much out of him to leave a friendly note of welcome back or about how the dogs did with him or is the one dog's limp better now. I feel like I am a complete nonentity to him. Was it really so awful in our M? Does he hate me? It seems like he has this really deep anger toward me that he won't even allow himself to recognize, much less deal with.

I am trying so hard to get centered and find my acceptance of this loss and change, but I can't seem to get there.