Meredith - your 5 years..

[cagzmom]

Yep, right there with ya. Been there, done that. I've tried the thought stopping a few times and haven't been that successful. I'm glad to hear it's helping you. I need to try it again and keep at it.

Here is the deal -- it isn't a quick fix. AND it doesn't always help--- often I have to say it over and over- even get up move around find something else to read, look at etc. And AS SOON as I have ONE tiny little thought that ISNT about what I am thinking about i go with THAT thought. Your MIND is the battlefield -seriously.

I guess for me that's one of the scariest things about this whole mess. I keep thinking, what if I'm not enough? Their dad is messing with their heads, and what if I'm so damaged myself that I can't keep myself together, much less help them keep it together? What if I mess them up even worse?

YOU HAVE ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION. IS IT EVEN an OPTION??!! I hope not!! What YOU do about YOU is up to YOU. That is something I am coming to. YOU need to take care of YOU!! PERIOD. DO WHAT it takes to get healthy.