Okay, first, I cannot believe that my simple observation inspired such an amazing sharing of thought and emotion!
Sage... of course we read it all...your thoughts are never boring!
I now have a MUCH better idea of where some of your deep rooted fears, and beliefs about others and yourself come from. It is totally understandable how you've developed the deep desires, expectations, needs and fears that you have.
(Just an aside...was your mom bipolar? My aunt did the very same thing with my cousin in the house, knife an d all...later she "succeeded" in burning down the house with herself in it...so sad... )
I am just so in awe of your self awareness. It must be frustrating, however, to have this self awareness, to keep fitting in the pieces, and still have current feelings/behaviours that are affected by them!
That rather sums up the difference between Psychoanalysis, Freud's thing of looking into our childhood and past for such patterns and how they ripple into our future. He thought just that "aha!" moment of emotional insight would be enough to "cure" us....sadly, this is rarely the case.
The Cognitive and Humanistic views (espoused by most of our self-help tomes) focus more on the NOW, and how to consciously loosen the hold of the past.
Wait a second..... ...can you tell I've been teaching 3 hours of "Abnormal Psychology" a day for over a week?
You should write a book, hun. Ever consider a career in Psychology?
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