Reclaiming myself and my life - 3

[faithisbelieving]

It is true...they banned him...and, from my thread, he has ALWAYS SUPPORTED SAVING ONE'S MARRIAGE AND NEVER TOLD ANYONE EVER TO FILE FOR D.

Dear Frank,

Your wife is in a bad place and I wish to repeat to you what Jeff said to me which really is very plain and basic. It behooves us to maintain a positive relationship with our wives so that we can work with them, because, we will forever be tied to them through our children. WHATEVER happens, in 5, 10 or 15 years from now, when your daughter(s) marry, you will be in the same sanctuary with her.

Of course, Frank, I pray that you will be sitting next to her as husband and wife. As the Retrouvaille priest said to me, one day, you pray that you will look back on this time as you look at your granchildren and feel strength that you made it thru.

BUT.............................

In the mean time, I agree with you that it takes more energy to be angry, disgruntled and down ..than it would to lift your heart. So, Frank, my only advice to you is...well...what I've said all the time:

Get to that place where you can take care of yourself and do things with/for/to your W because YOU WANT TO DO THEM and without expectation. Let go of the M..but.....get to that very hard plateau that is so hard to scale to reach for us. It's that peak where we can look down and do things for us AND OUR W's without expecting that it will have an impact on the M. We do it because we are GOOD men...we do it because, as you told me, that we still love them but forgive them. Expectations...like bullets in The Spectre of the Gun, will kill you. As I said to you, continue to be 'the rock', let your heart guide you but temper it with good DB judgment. You'll 'know that time' when it comes, but, as they said in Gladiator: "not yet......not yet...."

Frank, you'll be OK.

FIB