I'm back from our trip. What a nice time! No sex, but tons of cuddling and being together. We had such a great weekend together! Saturday we drove for 4 hours - and chatted the whole way. Stopped in a cute town for lunch on the way to our destination. Had great conversation - really felt like old times. Checked out a winery near where we were staying - had a private tasting for free - fun, fun, fun, and then headed off to our hotel - the one H set up - and yes, we had the queen bed. We were so relaxed all weekend. We had dinner Saturday night in a little town - ate at a pub that had over 130 beers on their menu - yup 130. That was pretty cool. We toured the area on Sunday - and checked in to the inn that I had reserved. I was nervous because it was a little ways out from all of the attractions and kinda in the middle of nowhere. Well, no worries when we finally arrived. The inn keepers were amazing and the place was beautiful. We soaked in the hot tub (our own private one and ate at a restaurant in town that you would never think was a restaurant - just a little old house transformed into a restaurant - I don't think it could seat more than 20 - the food was amazing and we had a lovely time dining by candlelight. We were in for the night around 8 - watched 2 movies and slept like royalty. We were well fed in the morning, and reluctant to go home. Yesterday H commented that it will be our new get away place. He cannot wait to go back. It was cool that he was so pleased with the accomodations I picked. He wouldn't complain if he wasn't, but it was nice to be appreciated.
So that was the weekend -
Last night, was sex talk. Basically, H doesn't want to talk about it - with anyone, not even me. This is his issue and he'll have to deal with it on his own time.
I got stonewalled - big time. But, he still extremely cuddly, affectionate, loving, etc. So, I know that I need to create a safe environment. Now that I have told him calmly that this issue concerns me, I'm letting it go. He needs to now come around on this. Clearly he isn't ready to deal with it.
In the past, for other issues when H has gotten like this, he usually comes around. For example, H got kicked out of our church when I told the elders he was having an A and that bothered him for a long time. Granted i believe he should have been dealt with (and so does he) but the manner in which it was done was very poor - probably because I'm related to 2 of the elders and they took his A extremely personally. There are other issues there too, but far to many to mention. Anyway, I say this because H was really bothered by the situation there but didn't know how to deal with it, until I told him that I felt he really needed closure there and perhaps going back there would help. But it wasn't until I told him that I think he might want to do that, that he did. And it took about 3 to 4 weeks for him to come around. I'm going to give him 3 to 4 weeks on this - and I'm going to try some stuff in the meantime.
We'll see. Phew - long post. Thanks for reading ALL of that!
Hope everyone is well! Em
Last edited by ediemarie; 02/21/0812:26 AM.
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
and ate at a restaurant in town that you would never think was a restaurant - just a little old house transformed into a restaurant - I don't think it could seat more than 20 - the food was amazing and we had a lovely time dining by candlelight. We were in for the night around 8 - watched 2 movies and slept like royalty. We were well fed in the morning, and reluctant to go home. Yesterday H commented that it will be our new get away place. He cannot wait to go back. It was cool that he was so pleased with the accomodations I picked. He wouldn't complain if he wasn't, but it was nice to be appreciated.