Finding my way out of the dark

[missmyfriend]

To wait or not to wait is your decision Mishka. No person should make that for you. By standing one day more than you did the day before is more than what 99% of the other people would do.

I can only tell you why I am standing but that applies to me, no one else. I do have my opinions; don't we all?

When it comes down to it, standing is hard. We can make it easier on ourselves by learning about who God really intends us to be. I believe it is Rev. 2:4 where the church of Ephesus had left their first love (God).

I realized that I placed my W above God. To be honest, I placed pretty much everything in my life above God. I still struggle with putting Him first. I want Him to be first though. And that is something I will not stop trying to do regardless of what happens with my M.

You are tortured, as many of us are, because we cannot think of what life would be like without our spouse. That is the Catch-22. We need to be okay without our spouse before they can be returned to us and want to stay.

Without a real R with Him, it is challenging to have a real R with anyone else. Actually, I think it is impossible to have a real R with anyone until we realize that without Him, nothing else matters. We will continuously search and will always be wanting.

Nothing wrong, Mishka, with rambling thoughts. You are sorting everything out and that can be the best way to do it.