Mako, your C is right....they may 'waffle back and forth'...hopefully she will decide that she really does want to get clean. Hard to say.
I know in my experience once H was able to talk freely to me about his addiction he said it developed from 'I wanna do this cuz it makes me feel good' to 'I NEED to do this in order to just feel NORMAL'. I guess the tolerance thing goes into affect after so many years of abuse...he did this for so long his body developed a tolerance, thus he needed more and more just to get to a state of 'normalcy'....not even close to getting 'high'. These are his words....
From what I understand, many of those afflicted with the disease of addiction usually have underlying psychological problems. Those problems must also be dealt with in addition to the addiction, cuz many times this is the root of the problem. If your W does not deal with whatever phychological problems she has, its likely she will continue to self-medicate to rid herself of the problems/pain she is suffering.
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Its not like a 27 yr old that becomes addicted for the first time, its like a 5 yr old thats been addicted for 30 yrs and building defenses around it.
I have found this statement to be very true as well just from listening to my H talk about his problem. He has made many statements along these lines...."It didn't take long for me to get addicted but I spent years damaging my brain. It is going to take years for the damage to be undone. I understand that this might be a life-long struggle". He has said something like that to me many, many times.
I only speak out about this bcuz I suffered in silence along with my H for too many years. I would hate for someone else to have to endure the pain, disappointment, and disillusionment that I suffered. I feel for you, your W, and your children. I prayed for each of you last nite and continue to do so....
