Make things better by looking ahead....

[sage]

Caz -- First off, I don't want to encourage you to do anything that might jeopardize the progress that you and h are making. don't feel that you need to respond if you feel uncomfortable -- I'll know you're out there! Also, if you'd feel better emailing -- I'd be more than up for that (but TOTALLY understand if that feels strange, too) -- email is [e-mail] (don't ask...it took forever to come up with something new!)

Yes, it had him backpeddling. And saying more stuff that left me feeling battered emotionally.

Caz -- I don't think that this reaction from h is uncommon...I'm not saying he should have beaten you up emotionally! but, he's probably just responding to the idea that other people might think he was having an a.

you were between a rock and a hard place (needing uspport but not having anywhere to turn confidentially) -- that's one of the reasons that the board is so important!

I hate to lose the support as well. Actually, during the month of DBing H said that it looked like I pretended thgs were okay. H said maybe he needed to hear ILY and other stuff.

so...I just view this as DB info...in other words, h is telling you clearly that he needed more words/action/etc from you -- ok, so incorporate that into dbing! it's good info and will benefit you both! we all know that db'ing isn't about withholding or controlling or whatever -- it's about finding what works and doing it -- I honestly don't think that all the ilys in the world would have made the difference early on in the db process for you and h...now he's letting you know differently!

I'm just confused right now. I still plan on working on me.

Understandable -- you've entered a new phase. I'm delighted to hear that you're still working on YOU!!!

Sage