I think you are right about the rote memory. I think there was an element of that. He was having a hard time with pulling away.
I think related to this maybe, is I notice my H still calls me "Honey" a lot although he is in love with OW and mentions divorcing me several times a week. I assume his calling me honey is an example of the rote memory you are talking about? It is kind of strange that someone that calls me honey all the time is doing all of the above!!! Karen43
