Wow Pink....that is quite a story. I'm sorry you found yourself in this situation...but glad you found your way here.
In reading your sitch, to me (IMHO) it sounds like your H has some serious control issues. He seems to be the type that wants complete dominance over every situation. Did you see any of this behavior before you were married?
It seems like you went thru a lot of changes in order to please him, but from what you have posted here, none of your changes has made him happy. Sounds like you lost a great deal of yourself in the process....evidently this did not make you happy....thus the breakdown in your M.
I think it is a good move for you to begin doing the things that make you feel good and feel more like yourself. Whether your H notices or not is really irrelevant at this point. I don't believe you should have to lose yourself or your independence when you get married. You individual personalities should compliment each other. Unfortunately this does not always happen.
I applaude you in getting back to your former self. I'm sure it took a lot of courage and strength to find yourself again. Retain that inner strength...it is yours to keep....and if you decide to continue on this journey into saving/rebuilding your M, you will need it.
My opinion, keep doing the things that make you happy and feel content. This is certainly a DB principle but should be a way of life in general. In the long run, no matter if your M survives or not, you will come thru this a better person. This site and the DB/DR books offer a ton of advice, empathy and support. Hang in there....we're here for you.
