He knows how to get in touch with you if he wants to.
Unless your daughter is ill there is absolutely no need to contact your Husband.
Got it? DAR SWEETS...THIS BEARS REPPEATING...LIVE BY THIS....
Last edited by a new 2moro; 02/20/0803:59 PM.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Oh, and during all the craziness last night's call brought, H did say he's been thinking about moving back in with his parents again. That's great since they're the shrinks that are trying to get him to D instead. Whatever. Boneheads.
....H did say he's been thinking about moving back in with his parents again. That's great since they're the shrinks that are trying to get him to D instead.
Hi Dar...Sounds like you are taking a beating on your thread, not so much a 2x4 as a jackhammer! I agree generally though, girl, you need to toughen up !!! If anyone (not even my BF) got angry and said Fing this that and the other to me..I would politely say, I cant talk to you if you're angry, I'd be happy to talk when you are less angry. Or something ! You need to put up boundaries...he left you remember.
I know you must yearn for contact or seeing him and I cant imagine how hard it is to be in this sitch, with a D as well. But...I definetly think it was a mistake to invite him to a parent SOCIAL evening. Thats not really appropriate and you didnt really think he would come and be able to hang out, and go to the bar and do bowling or whatever else? Maybe thats not realistic considering his frame of mind right now! Be strong...wait for him to extend invitations to you..if you are nice and kind, but with respect for yourself... well, he may garner more respect for you and stop f-ing and blinding at you ! (I gave nothing away to my BF..he would say "hope you're ok" and I wouldnt answer, as it is not a question, so doesnt deserve a reply from me)
Shame about the parents, but thats a bit sad at his age, going back home. Hopefully he will realise this and realise he needs to get a handle on himself! At least he is telling you his plans. I know you are a little jealous at the contact I am having with my BF..but did you know...I dont even know where hes living !!!! He wont tell me. So thats not so great !
Sounds like you need to pull back a little (a lot??)
H is living with a guy friend right now and I don't know where he's living either. I think he's embarassed about living there though. When he left, he moved into his parents, then didn't like being a grown man there so he moved in with this guy (I don't know any of his MLC friends at all). Now he's unhappy there too and is considering moving back to the parents. Too much of a whirlwind for me now.
Amy,
So you agree? Mom and Dad did SUCH a 'wonderful' job, didn't they? I'm not surprised. This is really his step-mom and his dad. And get this, his step-mom and bio-mom were best friends. When H was about 2, mom and him came home and step-mom and dad were in their bed f'ing! So I don't put it past these 2 that they'd just throw up their arms and say to D me. And they want to act like they've got such class and are soooooo much better than everyone. Dad is always telling H how much money this and that is to rub it in. They're the ones that also yelled at H for filing bankruptcy. So much for unconditional love huh?
H just emailed me - on his own - all happy happy because the job he wanted called him and are meeting with him tomorrow. I was very congratulatory and friendly. It gets me that he's all nicey nicey when he was just a jerk the past 2 days.
Hi Dar! Oh, gosh, you dont know where your H lives either??? What is it with these MLCers and not giving out their address!?? Its beyond my comprehension. Although, yes, I think my BF is worried about where hes living too, I dont think its that great!
Hey, its great that he called you about the job call back! He wants to share his good news, but wont give you his address. Its mad isnt it!?
Ali _____________________ Me: 36 H: 34 LT: 9 years ILYBINILWY: 2 Nov 07 Own apartment: 26 Jan 08
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Yep, maddening, but I'm not letting it get to me. I wouldn't even say the word "home" to him before, as in "drive home safely". It's not home - neither is it being with his parents. I've been saying it for a while now and once I started that, he's the one that seems uncomfy saying/hearing that. So odd.
Let me give this a try. First you have absolutely no control over H. You can't make him come back no matter what you do unless he decides he wants to. H sees you right now as needy and clingy and he doesn't want any part of it. He feels like he already tried to make it work regardless of what you think. It's too late in their minds. They don't believe you'll change. All they can think about is themselves.
The only thing you really have control over is yourself. Thus, work on changing and improving yourself. Go out and GAL. Do things you enjoy and try (as hard as it may be) to have fun without H. Act Happy around H and don't let anything he does or says bother you. If you find yourself getting upset or in an arugument or heated discussion - leave or ask H to leave. Don't be at H beck and call either. Don't talk or contact him for a week or so for example. It's very hard to do, but you can do it.
It's hard to explain, but in a way, you need to try to go back and become the person you were when you first met. You didn't need him, but you had fun together and were a happy person. Seeing you like this again, can remind H of what/who he fell in love with.
My other input here though is that you have to let go of of the past also. You can't change the past, so let it go. Work on what you want to change, which is the future going forward. It's hard to let the past go, but you have to learn to put it behind you and not bring it up. Just work on what you can change - you self, and your future going forward.
Need2Believe
Me: 45 H: 49 Married - 21 years SD from H 1st M - 30 S - 14 S - 11 Asked for D - 8/14/06 Found out about OW - 8/30/06 Moved out 10/14/06 Moved back in 4/1/07
