I think my W is starting to wake up. Is it because her friends in their 20's are growing up? Is it because many of her "new" friends have gone there own way? Or was it because I DB'd?

I don't think any of these answers apply. No matter who she was with in her life this abrupt change was going to happen. First she was a devilish teenager. With many secrets and a defiant attitude towards life. Suddenly becoming the most popular girl around and leaving me out of her life. At times she would display some unusual behavior that made me secretly question if I wanted to be with her anymore.

I got the impression she thought I was holding her back in life. She talked about so many ways of improving her life. There was always some obstacle in the way that prevented her from completing her goals. Either she was afraid or lost interest in her next major life improvement. When she gave up her anger would be focused on me. She would blame me for all that went wrong. All I could do was listen and be there for her if she needed me.

When it came to being a mom she did the bare minimum. I became our daughter's primary care taker. Taking her to all her doctor's appointment. My W just wasn't there.

I also remember a phase where my W thought she was the best mom in the world. She would make these huge meals, but everthing was put away before I came home from work. I would comment on home good the food was, but she wouldn't acknowledge anything I said. All I could do was have my own life.

Later in years I was allowed to go out with my wife. However, she still have friends I wasn't allowed to meet. They were a mystery and she would talk about them to her GF's. When I finally met them I could see why they were kept so secret. Her new friends where still in there teens and early twentys. These were the people she would party with.

Now, she's trying to do the mother thing again. This time I'm involved. She's cleaning the house and getting rid of all the clutter she accumulated throughout the years. She close to coming back to us, but I don't want to rush things.

I love her, but only from afar. I want so much for her to tell me she loves me, but it doesn't look like it will happen.

Telling her she loves me is a deal breaker for our M. If after a few years she doesn't say these three words, I'll move on.

A man goes through life trying to do all the right things. Then when he thinks life is good - an MLC comes along.