W not angry any more and wants to work on the M

[Forrest Gump]

I Guess to clarify. I am not really saying to stand there with the massage oil but to kinda think about what it used to be like and what the OM was bringing to the table.

She said "We are starting over in marriage to see if we can make it" Thats not really true. And yet it is. From our perspective she is saying "I want you to forget everything I did". Then she is also saying "I am gonna remember everything you did"

This is where the frustrating talks come from. I would bet at times you feel like you are doing everything. Remember that when the tables were turned she felt like she was doing everything. We are all wrong in that situation. You pushing for the talks is the same as her nagging you about the clothes on the floor or the wet towel in the hamper. You being hung up on WHY? is not gonna help you. She very well may not know why. Why were you distant back in the day? Can you really answer that? Explain it to me in a way that will make it better for me that you did those things.

She was wrong to do what she did. She knows that. I doubt she woke up and said I am gonna find me a man. F Lan. She did what she did, you did what you did out of sheer frustration and seeing no other option. She wants you to start over, But she wants the things that are comfortable/good for her to stay the same. Does that make sense?

Your in a place that you want to be. Yes eventually you will have to get closure on it all. Why do you have to have it right now? I don't know why we want it right now but we do, remember we are in the same place. I know what you are going thru. I can see what she is going thru.

Go over in the newcomer section and read Littlebitlost's email to her husband. Read that as if that was your wife writing to you. Lilbit had her switch flipped and can see what she did and now wants it all back. Eventually it will happen with our respective spouses. Hopefully. It is all timing. You, Me and our wives are all out of phase right now.