I am so confused, not sure what hand I am playing

[Snow White]

Ok I self destructed, addressed the texts for a few days straight and we still got along but then woke up tuesday to see the one day there were 21 texts(previous explanation wanted to see the status of his sitch at work) i lost it and sent a text to OW asking what part of stay away from my husband didn't she understand. H had already told me that he was having a crisis at work because all of a sudden after he was supposed to be transferred (to the same store she was) it was leaked at work that they were "together" he wanted to get to the bottom of it and why people started crap up as soon as he was away. I told him if anyone knew it came from her - since according to the story the PA was a one time deal before work. how would anyone know unless she confirmed. Well she will no longer speak to him after the text I sent her and he is beside himself because he needed to get answers and now he never will. In the midst of all this he now says he doesn't know if he is in love with her (before he was a concerned friend) but he needs to talk to her and get answers before he can decide on what is going on in our marriage. I moved my daughter and I out to my parents last night while he decides, he told her we would be home tonight, I told him not to make promises. Today he called his parents in FL to discuss the sitch - I see this as the begining of the end, up until now he wanted it all a secret. I think he is leaving, she moved out this weekend from her partner. He won't say he is but he won't say he is staying just keeps saying he needs answers.