CONTACTING OW/OW'S HUSBAND

[Snow White]

Thanks for the cyber-squeeze. It all helps so much.

Here's a question. Part of my frenetic feelings and what's behind confronting my H is the fact that I am having a great deal of difficulty with the lies. I just want them to stop, so I want to do something to make them stop. I can't get this out of my head. It's as if I am somehow condoning the behavior if I don't do something about stopping it. It's partially a matter of self-respect. How long do I let him go on like this while he is very well aware of how much he is hurting me? I know it sounds as if it's all about me, but right now, I'm starting to feel like I have to make it about me or I am going to lose myself completely.

It is hard to believe that someone other than me wrote this because this is exactly how I feel, I am self destructing on a daily basis around lies and likely pushing my marriage to the brink. As I mentioned these texts in FL, we came home a happier couple than when we left, I knew that he was doing it, I could tell by the phone use but I said nothing so we could have fun, but once we got home something took over me, most of the days there were only 3 or 4. Since I went to my parents house with my daughter last night there has been at least 100 sent from my husband to myself - I am replying. I just cannot stand that he can even give this person a second of his time on our family vacation and I know I am ruining things. I am sorry if this is taking over your thread but I just wanted to point out that I think a lot of people react the same way you are. I need to do something.