Like I always said, Cat, you're a quick study! This is 'detachment' played in a minor key. You were detached enough from your emotional response that you were able to watch your own performance when you talked with H. Gold star. Go to the head of the class.
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but in the end he actually realized he was wrong by yelling and said sorry.
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"he actually realized" is a projection on your part. You don't know what he is thinking (get over that, longtime wife!)
I think what happened is that he had no choice but to apologize. You didn't put up anything for him to fight against or to attack. Cat, you elicited this behavior in him with your own behavior. You gave him a lead. Keep it up. An accumulation of little interactions like this is your renewed relationship with H, and an anchor for him, as well as a strong rope which he can use to pull himself up from the bottom. (mixed metaphors are OK, whatever gets the job done)
