Stop trying to compete (I know I have done it too) and sit down and realize that you, JUST you, are more than enough for him. This isn't about you, really, its about H's selfish needs. He may be insecure (like mine) and need validation from everyone. I don't think its time to give up, not at all. Have you read DB? Started to do things for you, make new friends, get out with your kids?
I think you are right to allow H full access to the kids and a warm loving home. You will just need to draw the line somewhere about his 'access' to you. You could say something like "I still want this marriage, believe it can be repaired, but this can't be done with another woman in your life."
