Attached you will find S9's soccer schedule, which I got from socergame.com.
LOL! That is too funny. Hey, can I use that in real life? "Dear Coconut....." I can just imagine the look on his face. Teehee!
Quote:
you are not going to be able to make this man accountable for his decisions nor his responsibilities no matter what you do. Guilt and demands will only drive him further away. It will remove a lot of the expectations and conflict if you just take this one for the team (ha, literally) and work out the schedules without his part being played by him.
And Cagz was right on when she said not to get a reaction. As hard as that is!!!!
Yes, I think I've got this one figured out and do pretty well with it for the most part. I do try to only contact him about the kids' evening activities when it's impossible for me to do it on my own and one child or the other is going to have to miss an activity unless he helps.
But I'm having trouble convincing my in-laws of this. They are convinced that MAKING him SEE his responsibilities to his kids, MAKING him TAKE responsibility for his kids, will make a difference. They want me to take S9 out of soccer completely unless H agress to help, just to show him WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES will be to his kids if he doesn't stop shirking his responsibilities.
What they don't get is that right now HE DOESN'T CARE. He wants OUT. And he will justify it by any means necessary, even if it's to say, "Oh, LBS has got the kids involved in so many things that it's just too much for them. It's better if S9 quits soccer anyway." (I've heard some comments from him along those lines, even though H is the one who encouraged S9 to try soccer.)
I've tried to explain to my in-laws that making demands and guilting him into doing things may make him run further and run faster, since kids, responsibilities, and his sense of duty are some of the main things H is running away from, but they just don't get it.
Well, I think maybe my MIL gets it, but my FIL doesn't. And there's nothing I can do to stop them from saying whatever they are going to say to H.
Anyone have any suggestions on that?
Me:40, xH:41 M:19 T:21 D14, S10, D6 IDLYA bomb:12/22/06 OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06 H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07 D papers served 6/07 D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
