Going to try one more time....

[COG]

Ali,

I must say I DOOOOOOOOOOOO want to feel that, dont "normal" Married Couples feel that?

There is no normal. What's normal for you and your H, may be very weird to someone else. We need to see our sitch's for what they are, and to find joy in them as they are. Look at what we have, relish in it, and put aside those things we think we want or need or that we think are "normal".

I am not a doormat, I am his equal, I am his wife and so when he says something to me even if it stings. I listen and maybe he is right, maybe I don't relax enough when we make love, maybe I really don't hug him enough, maybe I am grouchy and don't smile once in awhile, and he needs me to get better because he loves me .

I'm not sure it's a matter of being "right" or getting "better" in terms of your personal worth, usefulness or value. It's more about first knowing your H well enough to know what makes him feel loved, and then serving him HIS way. Ideally, it should go both ways. He should know and accept the things that make YOU feel loved, and he should serve you in YOUR way. In a perfect world of course. Well, it never hurts to set high goals right?

You've got such a great attitude Ali, I love reading your posts. Keep on fighting girl, don't settle for second best in yourself or your H.

Love,

COG

PS thanks for the compliment. I think God sent you to me to show me that there are some really fantastic women in this world.