Make things better by looking ahead....

[sage]

Hey all,

Had a good weekend. Had a "date" Friday night -- dinner and a movie. It was a really nice time.

Saturday was a lazy day for me (in stark contrast to LL's whirlwind weekend!). I studied for my final in the AM then literally lay on the couch for hours while H watched TV. Not sure what was up with the absence of energy but it was nice to just hang out in the same room. We had talked about going out Sat. night but it was rainy and cold out so we got pizza delivered and watched 2 installments of "From the Earth to the Moon" on DVD.

Sunday was H's first bball game of the season, had a lowkey afternoon then our last bowling match of the season (guess that's good timing!).

The baseball game was a bit of "facing a demon" for me. Last year, H's LAST game of the season was the AllStar game. I went, watched in the cold from the bleachers and cheered him on. After the game, I drove home separately from H and stopped at the store. Later, when I found all the "emails", there was one from him to her (and then her reply) that was clearly him going home from the game and emailing her pretty much immediately. Now, I suppose I could look on the brightside and say, "well, I was AT the game", blah, blah.

Anyway, yesterday we went through a similar scenario -- after the game I went to the SAME store on the way home. Wondered more than a few times if he was busy emailing her. After I got home and we were hanging out together, H said that he loved when I came to his games -- that he loved seeing me watch him, his best fan. That chipped away at my fears some.

Going to have to face another demon this week...a while back I mentioned that H's old company had some consulting work for him...well, everything's in place so Weds. of this week he goes back to the old stomping ground. Great.
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My conscious effort for the week is to try to let go of the anger and rage I feel towards the ow. I just feel like she's "getting away with it" and that thought is keeping me stuck.

Sage