Take the ring off, leave the ring on, it doesn't matter. Personally, unless you're done, I'd suggest not doing it.
Tom, you really can't look for the home run here. It's common to think of one or two things that will really shake things up and expect some sort of speedy resolution to the situation. Honestly, there are very few speedy resolutions. You should continue down the path you've started on; give her space, work on yourself, and be patient. You really won't see a lot of progress until the thing with OM starts to fizzle, which it will. How about making you into the best possible you? Work on restoring your self-confidence, your independence, and on any bad habits you might have fallen into. She needs to draw the distinction between this loser she's with (I don't need to know him...he's engaged in an affair so he can't be all that great) and the new you. Life can go on without her, so don't let her see you a broken man. Let her see the best side of you.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
