What's this about...??

[bombardier50]

Thank you Zebra.

Okay, here we go. Various notes and tidbits from MC yesterday. Anxious to hear what everyone thinks...

As usual, session begins with wifey launching a pre-emptive strike to put me on the defensive and set the tone. As usual, I absorb the blow. Essentially, wife was complaining about how I've always controlled the money, and how she often resented that. And because of that resentment, she quit having sex with me, and, in typical MLC fashion: "I don't know if I'll ever get those feelings back...I just don't know."

MC: "Usually, the two most contentious elements of a marriage are money and sex. It's always interesting to me to find out who controls what. Clearly, in your case, your husband controls the money, and (looking at wife) you control the sex."

You could've heard a pin drop.

Wife repeats how she just doesn't have any sexual feelings toward me anymore.

MC: "Of course you don't. You've become emotionally detached. And it's going to take time and work to rebuild that. You know, your husband has said over and over that he's willing to be patient and wait and rebuild the relationship, and not pressure you for sex. To me, that's a very obvious expression of his love for you. Most men would've bailed out by now."

Wife goes defensive. Now she feels "guilty" and "pressured" because she's the one controlling the sex.

MC: Looking at wife:"You know, every week we talk, you always bring up the sex issue. Every single week. I find that interesting. Your husband never does. And every time you bring it up, you talk about how you feel pressured to have sex. Yet, you admit that it's been months since your husband asked you to ML. Where do you think the pressure's coming from?"

Wife admits she's putting the pressure on herself. MC tells her to stop...it's just making things harder.

Essentially, the majority of the session involved wife talking about us not having sex and expressing angst over why she doesn't feel like having sex with me anymore. This discussion persisted despite several attempts by the MC to steer the conversation to more productive topics...spending more time together...going on dates...etc.

The Aftermath: as we're making dinner, guess what she wants to talk about? You guessed it. Sex. And why we're not having it.

And how maybe I need to get a "f#ckbuddy."

Yes. She said that. Half seriously. I laughed.

So what's going on here? Is it guilt?

Have fun with this...

Bomb