Wow, we seem to be in a similiar point in all this..the WAS is being "friendly" now and actually spending a bit of time with us...yet theres that nagging feeling, is this still "it" for them? Have they just shifted neatly into friendship and no more? Meanwhile, I am aware of hanging on his every word and pretending I am not! And drinking in the sight of him, whereas he was faraway... I cant believe what your W said...
Quote:
W. emailed me the day after we went out and said she had a really great time at the play and particularly enjoyed our experience and talk (non-R) at the restaurant. She said she laughed a lot and that she hoped I also enjoyed it. She wondered if something was wrong at the end when I dropped her off--if she had said/done something wrong or "if I was just sad".
What planet is your W on !?? Oh, yeah you made a remark that saddened me, but I'm not sad in myself at all, why would I be? I'm fine, chipper, never been better. You just walked out on me after years of a loving long term R, and I cry every day am bereft and lonely and miss you like hell, but me, sad? Noooo... :-)
Excuse the sarcasm, but really ! I guess she was trying to open up an R talk there though, surely she must realise how heartbroken you've been ??? Its very encouraging what she said to you, she enjoyed your company, your conversation and you made her laugh...and she hoped you enjoyed it too ! This doesnt sound to me like someone who is "done" with someone else. My sister said a good thing to me (she has been through all this and DBing worked for her)..she said for whatever reason, the WA needs werent being met within the R. That could be their own issues, or being a bad communicator, but it didnt feel safe for them to stay in the R. She said as they make baby steps toward you its like they are testing you, to see if things are different and if its not just all talk, but the changes are sticking. This can take weeks of checking. I have noticed my BF making a mental note of a couple of things I said, so although I think he also has depression, there were issues between us that he probs couldnt cope with anymore and he is no doubt looking for signs of real change.
I think your email back was great ! Well done. I dont know if our WAS are offering platonic friendship or if they still have feelings for us, secret, buried or otherwise. Its helpful that people say its like starting over..rediscovering what it was you had in common, or liked about one another, and humour is the BEST anecdote...well done for making her laugh!
