Quote: I'm frankly not sure that my h shares this fear...he certainly has never expressed it to me! H has expressed uncertainty about whether he wants to be M or not -- as recently as 6 weeks ago...to me that feels like a big reason why I'm struggling so much. He has told me in the past that he wants a D, has told me that he isn't sure he wants to be M, but hasn't ever said "let's try to make this work". If I asked him today he'd say "well, I'm still here, right?"
shhhh! I do understand...trust me I do...my h moved out...wanted a d...was not comming home no way no how...when he did come home...one of the things he said that he now wishes I'd forget was..."I have to put my needs aside for my family" oh gee thanks so if not for the kids you'd be off with sussie cancer pants?? it took a while..there were still occasions when I'd foolishly ask h what he wanted and I'd get a 50/50 response..part of him wanting to be here and part of him not...h never fully believing that he could find the "it" here...wich was part of his fear in comming home..what if "it" isn't there...well I can tell you it took about 6 months of h being home and me trying desperately to keep my damn mouth shut..before h finaly stopped with the "I'm here aren't I, I came home didn't I, doesn't that say anything to you" (oh bite me!) and said...I believe we can be happy...I'm here because I want to be here...I'm sorry for this..etc...should I have had to wait?? na, but sometimes ya gotta wait.
and as far as not feeling attractive...hon I gotta tell ya...I aint never letting you meet my h unless I am right there with ya!! go get yourself some nice victoria secret stuff...if you feel silly about it...start out subtle and work your way into the crazy stuff...
