1. H met me for dinner before my class. This is an out of the way drive for him and means a lot to me!
2. H emailed me upon arriving home (I access the email during class). I've mentioned before that class nights are tough. I've got to get to the point where the trust is there but until that completely happens, it means a lot to me that he takes the time to let me know "where" he is.
3. Got an awesome, unbelievable, passionate kiss upon arriving home!!! More of those, please!
********** I'm looking forward to a good and fun weekend!!! I know that so much of it has to do with my attitude...I've been all over the map for the last few days. Strong one minute, weepy the next. My support system here has helped a great deal -- thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone and that I should be gentle with myself.
I was looking at a VS catalog this morning. talked myself out of buying some things because I feel so unsexy, so unpretty, so "unloveable". In the process I realized that one of my biggest challenges is to pull my self-esteem out of the toilet despite "all evidence to the contrary" -- in other words, to feel pretty and attractive and loveable and worthy and chooseable, etc, despite H's a. AND, I get to do that ALL by my lonesome -- as easy as it would be to turn to someone else to help me feel those things...that's not an option.
In the midst of my melodrama it of course occurs to me that perhaps that's what H was seeking in the "arms" of ow. Guess it WAS an option for him.
Anyway, I'm actually NOT feeling sorry for myself (really) despite all appearances. In some ways, it was a good reminder for me that what I'm doing is HARD and I should stop beating myself up for backsliding.
And I WILL take another look at the VS stuff -- if only for me
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
