Meredith - your 5 years..

[tpaschal]

First and foremost if you are doing anything to get a reaction then DONT do it! PERIOD. I have learned that the very hard way. Even right now I am struggling with the what to do or not do.

Because I am doing this for ME (remember that was what I liked about this thread it was nothing about THEM and all about us!) Ok back to topic..because it is about ME I have to do what works for ME.

Hmmm...I need to examine that. I don't think I'm doing things (at least not as often anymore) to get a reaction from him, or to teach him a lesson or anything, but I do think I tend to concentrate more on what will help for my M in the long run, maybe not necessarily on what's good for ME right now.

Guess I need to change my paradigm? Need to tell myself that what's good for ME right now, will be what's best for my M in the long run?

This is NEW to me. VERY new.

Me, too. And I know that's part of my problem. I still haven't figured out what is good for ME, what is right for ME, so it's awfully hard to communicate it to anyone else!